Some good SFGAM humor from another site

[Bob O]

http://www.absolutelyreliable.com/

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Couple Unable To Visit Six Flags Great America

A Chicago area couple is stymied by their inability to visit Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois, despite driving nearly two hours for that purpose alone.

“We just keep trying to figure out why,” said Paul Willard, 34 years old, “We were planning this trip for weeks, even arriving at our hotel the night before so we could get to the gates before the park opened. But over a few drinks at dinner, we both came to the decision that we really didn’t want to go at all.”

Kim Schultz, 27, was the first one to bring up the subject of not visiting the park. “I made a joke about it at the hotel, y’know, that the room was so nice that we should just sleep in instead of fighting the crowds all morning. But then it came up again at dinner, and when we realized that we were both thinking the same thing, that was it.”

Willard and Schultz are both former SFGAm annual passholders, and have truly enjoyed their visits to the chain’s Midwestern gem in the past. Willard shrugged his shoulders when asked for a rationale behind the couple’s actions.

“Beats me. I guess maybe I’m just tired of the throngs of white-trash, hostile ride operators, and bland fast food. Of course, fifteen dollars for parking might have something to do with it.”

Schultz is more specific, waving a Six Flags brochure in the air. “They’re celebrating a forty-fifth anniversary?” she asked incredulously. “What the hell is that? That makes even less sense than that ‘100 Years of Magic’ crap that Disney tried to cram down people’s throats a few years ago.”

The couple then engaged in a rapid-fire listing of possible reasons for their non-visit, including peeling paint on Déjà Vu, lackluster live show offerings, and the continued operation of Iron Wolf, the park’s torturous B&M stand-up coaster. They agree on one point, however.

“We had a much better time that day by not going to the park.” Schultz said. “We had a good breakfast, did some shopping at the Gurnee Mills mall, and took most of the afternoon driving home on country roads. It was much better than standing in line for three hours for Raging Bull, which is just going to be trimmed to death anyway.”

The couple is already in the planning stages of a trip to the park next month, which will most likely include a day of horseback riding at a local stable, and an outing at the park’s Fright Fest, when they plan to spend the day at a health spa.

--CMV
Posted at 8:32 PM | Link


Hope someone finds some humor in this, this site is pretty good at making fun of the coaster community.

[Sireze]

o wow lol

[Director_Guy]

That's awesome.

[LAFFfan4lyfe]

ha, that made me laugh.

[ragingbullchick]

That's so funny.

[CoasterDude12-2]

Makes me question my faith in Great America.

[shockwave guy mark]

somwtimes I wonder why I decided to go on such a crowded day. and Michael if you are reading this we can both agree not to go on roaring rapids on opening day, or the week after opening day.

[EagleFan344]

Good to know this topic got unlocked.

[w00dland]

I'm also glad this topic got unlocked, it has relavence, and I agree with a lot of it. GAM is crowded, and still full of a lot of punk teenagers that are just way too cool for school.

[Galvan]

I really didnt and still dont see the point of the article or the humor behind it at all.

I guess the humor of this article is beneath me.

[zjohn1988]

^read it again.

After reading it for the 3rd time, i finally found the humor of it..its kinda embarassing to be a fan of a park which gets flamed by people, but it is funny reading the complaints about the park

[iluvthebullforever]

very funny> LOL

[DejaVuGurl1203]

I honestly don't see any humor in it either... I read it over and over, don't see any of it. Personally I think a lot of people complain about the littlest things at the park and spend too much time thinking negatively.

[Galvan]

Sorry, but if I have to read something over and over and over again to get something remotely funny from it, then its not really worth my time.

[Director_Guy]

you guys know that Absolutely Reliable is like the tabloids of the coaster community?

[Timmy179]

boo, I want my money back. Now.

[FParker185]

I find it funny only cause I've come to feel that same way. Actually that's not funny, that's sad.

[Timmy179]

Name a damn park that wouldnt fit into the mold of this story... jeeees.

[Director_Guy]

^Chillax.

[EagleFan344]

Best part of it was the part about Bull being trimmed to death.

Ya'll know its true.

[skaterboarder254]

it's not great but it is funny-ish and made me laugh...i dont see the reason to get all angry and uptight about it. they've got stories like this for plenty of parks get over it.

[EagleFan344]

Name a damn park that wouldnt fit into the mold of this story... jeeees.

This man brings up a good point.

[Bob O]

There would have been no logical reason at all to lock this post!!!!!!!!!!
I found the article funny as is the site it came from. Like alot of good humor, it needs some truth in it and this article had some comments that were funny and also true in park operations.

[RBull4life]

and an outing at the park’s Fright Fest,

HA!. If they thought waiting 3 hours for a ride on the "trimmed to death" RB, wait until they see the line on a typical Fright Fest night

I know one thing. If I knew that the hostile ride-ops were going to threaten to kick my ass at every ride, I never would have renewed my season pass. Don't even get me started on the peeling paint on Deja Vu. Those lackluster live shows....Jeeeeez, they suck. They should have strippers in cages dancing to 60's music. I agree with them, I can't stand white-trash.

Wusses. Those two deserve to be shopping at Gurnee mills, and eating the bland fast food in that joint.

[coastersrmylife]

Best part of it was the part about Bull being trimmed to death.

Ya'll know its true.

Sadly true